Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize