Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
