what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
