Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
