ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
your like the ambassador to my penis.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
