he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
