weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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