Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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