Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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