playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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