Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
