The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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