Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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