As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
