OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
