Little spoons don't ask big questions
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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