i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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