whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Randomize