She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
