AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
