screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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