hotel room ftw
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Randomize
