They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
