so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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