nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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