any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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