going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
