No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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