it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
