Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
