i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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