my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
