I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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