Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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