quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
