This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I had to cum in my sink.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
