Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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