Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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