i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize