I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Alive.
So much puke
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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