I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
