Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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