I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize