Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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