OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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