I swear she didn't look like that last week.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
