have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize