Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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