Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
the day after is always just damage control
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
