And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
