He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
