My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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