tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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