I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Randomize
