Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
