I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
