i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
